A Life-Altering Encounter

That led to my relationship ending

Sometimes, when we choose to look within, to seek the truth, to dig deep, we don’t like what we find.

What we find sometimes makes heartbreak and loss inevitable.

That’s what happened here.

But it’s worth it—100% of the time.

So keep looking.

Your happiness, fulfillment, and success depend on it.
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It’s funny to look back upon seemingly insignificant moments in our lives that end up changing their courses forever. 

In some ways, it’s fascinating; in some ways it’s scary. 

When my then-boyfriend and I were in Tulum, Mexico for a wedding last month, I had one such meeting. 

Here’s what happened:

For several months, I’d had what can only be described as a pit in my stomach. A pit of unhappiness in my relationship that was ever-present. Through the good times, the pit was the size of a pea, but it was still there. Through the bad times, it felt large and cancerous. 

I thought it was a problem with me. I believed I was stuck, unable to let go of some hurtful things from the past, and thought that all I needed was a way to start fresh.

In the midst of this pit-carrying phase, I happened to hear about a man in Tulum who worked with energy to help people deal with their “stuff.” 

Perfect, I thought. I’m sure he’ll help me finally shed this relentless burden. 

Our plane landed at 9pm on a Thursday night. By 9am the next morning, we had pulled up to Stuart’s (the practitioner) compound—a large property in a gated community on the outskirts of Tulum. 

Upon seeing my boyfriend and I walking up the path to his house, Stuart asked me, “Are you doing a couple’s session or an individual one?”, to which I replied “Individual” (firmly believing this was solely a me-problem, I saw this as wise).

He then led me into a large yurt and proceeded to sit in the only chair in the room. 

Looking at me with interest as I stood there awkwardly, unsure of what to do with my hands, Stuart asked, “So, do you know what I do?” 

“Not really,” I replied honestly. 

So he started to explain the basics of core energetics. How he reads my energy and to do that effectively, I needed to be standing. How our subtle body movements unfailingly betray our thoughts. How shifts in my energy would give him indication about what is going on inside. 

He asked me what brought me here. I explained the pit. 

What happened next was more unexpected, brutal, and heart wrenching than I could’ve ever imagined. 

I won’t go into the details, but he proceeded to tell me things like:

“That man out there doesn’t love you and never will.”

“You don’t love him either, you love a fantasy version of him.” 

“You’ll never be happy together.”

“You’re suppressing your true self for the sake of your relationship and that’s preventing you from being truly happy.” 

“It’s never going to work.” 

Now, just about 100% of the people I’ve told this story to have been skeptical—and rightfully so. It’s hard to believe that someone could glean so much insight from essentially just looking at me. 

But regardless of how he did it or if it was pure chance, his comments struck a nerve. 

He had successfully laid out my deepest fears in front of me, ones I had been stubbornly trying to shove down for over a year. 

The realization that I could no longer go on pretending hit me like a wall of grief. 

When my boyfriend re-joined me, he knew something was wrong—I was visibly shaken and had obviously been crying. 

We sat in silence for a few moments in the car, then I word-vomited the whole session. 

Like me, he was both surprised and not surprised. Something hadn’t felt right between us from the get-go for him, either. 

Over the next few days of our trip, we talked about everything. Every little thing Stuart had said. Every little thing that we felt. 

Ultimately, we came to the sad conclusion that he was right—we would never be happy together. 

On the flight home, we cried and held each other tight. We thanked each other for the love shared. We thanked each other for the support given. We thanked each other for the lessons taught and learned. We wished each other the best in life and love. 

And then we said goodbye.